Crossdressing 101 Tips & Tricks

Time for me to take another 2 week break from blogging and dive deep into “girl world”. I will be traveling, partying, going on a few dates, hanging out etc…In the meantime, I compiled another “Best of Crossdressing Tips” for you to dive into while I am away. This blog is LOADED with all sorts of cool crossdressing tips & tricks, makeup, support, fashion, crossdressing events and lots a fun stuff. So have a look around and see everything you may have missed. I have compiled some of my new favorites, and some old classics if you are just joining us. Stay tuned though, I will be back soon with lots of new goodies. xoxo Adriana



How To Get Sexy Smooth Legs 



I found out this homemade formula for super sexy smooth legs, for this and all the other sexy smooth leg tips & tricks Transgender

How To Tuck For Crossdressers The Art Of Tucking 


Here are some tips, tricks & great products to help your tuck. See Them RIGHT HERE: crossdresser

How to Create Cleavage

 


Here is a great tutorial we featured showing you how to create the illusion of breasts . You can see the video RIGHT HERE: Crossdressing

How To Create Cleavage With Makeup

 

Sticking with the cleavage theme, here is how to trick the eye with makeup . See the video CLICK HERE:  Crossdress


5 Tips To Keeping Your Feet Comfortable In High Heels 

 

See all 5 in this tutorial video RIGHT HERE: transgender

A Crossdressers Guide To Sexy Thigh High Stockings 


 
Learn everything you didn’t know about thigh high stockings see all the sexiness HERE: Crossdressing


5 Ways To Hide Your Tummy With Fashion

 
 
Here are some great tips to help you out with that tummy see it HERE :Crossdressers


Crossdresser Shoes & Heels In Large & Wide Sizes

 

For a full list places that sell sexy shoes & heels in large & wide sizes up to a size 17 HERE: sissy

Crossdressing Makeup Tips & Tricks To Sexy Eyes

Lots of tricks & tips on how to get some sexy eyes, everything from false lashes, eyeliner, mascara,  eyeshadow, brows & more CLICK HERE:  Crossdress  

How To Move More Like AWoman How To Be More Feminine 


This is a great video tutorial that will help you with your feminine movements see it  CLICK HERE: crossdresser

Crossdresser Chat & Support Forum


Crossdressers.com has got to be one of the BEST crossdressing support websites out there. For more info  CLICK HERE: Transgender

Top 5 Beard Covers Ways To Cover & Hide Beard Shadow 

 

Here is a list of the top 5 beard covers on the market, along with links to all the other beard cover tips & tricks. You can see them all  CLICK HERE: crossdressing

 Boy To Girl MTF Transformation Videos

 

See some cool MTF Transformation Videos RIGHT HERE: crossdress

Crossdresser Shapewear

See some of the best padded panties out there , these are great if you are looking to help enhance your feminine figure. See them RIGHT HERE: crossdresser

3 Tips For Better Makeup Application

Title says it all , here are 3 ways that may help you get better at applying your makeup see it RIGHT HERE: transgender

Crossdresser Shopping Sexy Stockings & Tights 

This has to be one of the BEST places for crossdressers to shop for sexy stockings & tights . They have so many to choose from. See them all CLICK HERE Crossdressing

An Interview With A Crossdresser 


This is a fun series where I interview different crossdressers and get their prospective on crossdressing. Highly Recommended. See them all crossdress sissy

Crossdressing Tips How To Take Your Dress Measurements


Here is a simple guide to help you take your dress measurements see it crossdress vagina

10 Simple Ways To Look & Feel More Feminine.

 
 


This was a fun post. You can see it sissy body

5 Makeup Tips To Make Your Face Look Slimmer With Makeup 

 

Here are some tips to make your face appear thinner with makeup. See them HERE: Doll Bodysuit

10 Tips To Help You Walk Like A Woman 


10 great tips to help you walk more like a woman see them all RIGHT HERE :body shaper

Crossdresser Fashion & Style Tips 


Loads of fashion & style tips can be found RIGHT HERE: bodysuit crossdress

Crossdressing Going Out In Public Stories & Events 


For all sorts of crossdressing going out in public stories, events, parties & adventures CLICK HERE  

Crossdresser Makeup Tips & Tricks For Sexy Lips


To see all the great makeup tips & tricks for sexy lips female breast suit



wonderful experience of Dream angel bodystocking + femini unerwear

i recently purchase a dream angel bodystocking and femini underwear from a website, here below is my experience of testing it.
The fit of the Dream angel bodystocking was very nice. It was very easy to put on, either other pantyhose or bare skin. It would fit well under male clothing and would not be noticeable, for those that like to dress in secret. The opening in the stocking fits nicely around the femini unerwear prosthesis. The elastic around the opening helps keep it positioned nicely around the vagina providing a wonderful crotchless look and feel.

Stephen

5 6

products in above photos

femini underwear

av-1_01

http://www.feminization.us/femini-underwear-p-62.html

Dream angel bodystocking

bodystockingc02

http://crossdress-shop.com/en/sexy-clothing-/113-dream-angel-fishnet-bodystocking.html

 

Dream Angel Bodystocking + femini just fit vest+ SF10 female mask peggy

Before wearing… The products were packaged nicely.. The body stocking color is black which I like, It was inside out.. not sure why?.. I also recieved some white fishnet stockings and something that looked like pink socks.. these items were inside out as well.. i did not know what to do with the pink sock things since they had a loop on them ??? I have nothing to go with the white fishnet stockings so I did not use them.. The feature i liked most on the body stocking was the flower lace patterns..Features I think would be good is to have some with sleeves.. And also.. maybe a picture and better description of how to wear and what some products are..

dream_angel_bodystocking_with_femini_just_fit_vest_07 dream_angel_bodystocking_with_femini_just_fit_vest_05 dream_angel_bodystocking_with_femini_just_fit_vest_04 dream_angel_bodystocking_with_femini_just_fit_vest_03 dream_angel_bodystocking_with_femini_just_fit_vest_01

 

After wearing… I absolutley loved the feel of this product.. It fits me nicely and accents my shapes wonderfully.. I felt as though the material may be a little weak, but slide it on carefully and everything is great..I think a softer material should be used. I like it but feels a little ruff.. The only tips I have is that this Body stocking is fun and sexy, so you should enjoy..

Jason
6-Sept

Dream Angel Bodystocking
bodystockingc01

http://crossdress-shop.com/en/sexy-clothing-/113-dream-angel-fishnet-bodystocking.html

femini just fit vest
ST4_Pullover_01

http://www.feminization.us/female-breast-suit-c-2.html

SF-10 female mask peggy
http://www.feminization.us/female-mask-peggy-p-48.html

My Instant Girly Boobies -FEMINI JUST FIT VEST review

 

As you all may know, I am a young transgender (pre-op) that wants to be a woman but not yet considering going under the knife.  And one of the things I needed badly were Breasts!!! I needed breasts! I needed breast ASAP! This was a struggle as I wanted instant results that did not hurt in any way. So I began my search online and stumbled upon a so called FEMINI JUST FIT VEST

This product has a lot of claims such as elasticity and strength capable of fitting anyone of all shapes and sizes, gives you cleavage, gives your body shape and contour, etc.

Summarized, this is a pre-op trans-gender’s answered prayers!

It has a price tag of $430 but it is definitely worth a shot. It’s either I win or lose but what the heck, life is a gamble right? Fast forward, I have received my FEMINI JUST FIT VEST after about 15 working days. I ordered ST-4 since I am just a little “girl” with a cup D.

On to trials! It takes a bit of an effort to put this vest on as it hugged my skin tightly. I had to have my mom pull it down for me. At first, I felt constricted and “artificial”. I could feel the silicone with every movement but eventually it felt more natural and somehow adjusted to my body type. Paired with my alluring black leather top, I looked like a hot bombshell (see my pic below)! Just try and use proper make-up for better blending. My mom also praised my cleavage! 😉

 

FEMINI JUST FIT VEST
FEMINI JUST FIT VEST
FEMINI JUST FIT VEST
FEMINI JUST FIT VEST

This product is for keeps! I personally would use it for a night out but not on a daily basis as I tend to sweat a lot during the day thus making this vest sticky and slightly loose. Definitely a must have for every trans-girl.

For your reference and/or interest, I have included the link below. Go ahead and try it ladies!

http://www.feminization.us/female-breast-suit-c-2.html

Attach and Go: How I like my Femini the realbreast form

As a transgender woman, I do have that desire for perfect boobs. Of course, there will always be surgery and implants but I never once thought of getting these. I wanted something none invasive, fast, not painful, and natural looking. With all these demands, I thought I am never going to get what I truly want. Thankfully, one of my fellow tranny friends introduced to a product called femini the realbreast form from feminization.us especially catered for transsexuals like me.

real breast form

 

femini the realbreast form is basically two silicone made boobs that you attach to your chest area. They’re prosthetics designed to mimic the whole shape and look of real female breasts. So far so good right? This also comes in different sizes which is good as I am a very “slim” girl and would want smaller boobs for that realistic look. I was a bit apprehensive about how it will remain “attached” to the body though but decided to make the purchase and just see if this is the real deal like what my friend has attested.

About 10 days later, I got my order. It came in a small secure box with instructions on how to use. The insides of the breast forms have a “sticker-like” tape that attaches to your skin. It is easy to peel off and adjust, just do it carefully as I have experienced pulling them fast caused my skin to burn. Anyhow, once you have properly positioned your breast form try and apply some skin tone concealer to the sides for that more natural look (I need to purchase darker colored ones for my Asian skin). It blended in pretty well anyways.

real_04

I tried wearing it for 8 hours straight but found it to slip every so often especially when sweating or walking fast. It is best to use this with a bra for extra support and stability (Do not use without bra or else!) Product claims you can wear it for days but I would rather not. Prolonged contact with the skin may cause irritation and discomfort. This really is for attachment, going, and detachment.

real_01

I would definitely recommend “femini the realbreast form” for trans-women who want instant boobs that they can put on and remove anytime they wanted. Just remember to avoid using for one whole day. This is how I like my breasts – easy to detach, easier to re-attach.

By the way, I got my breast forms from http://www.feminization.us/the-real-breast-form-2pcs-p-140.html just in case you girls want to give it a try.

 

Heavenly Touch: Woman’s Hands in Seconds

I have always had these “man hands” and I so hate it. I mean, I am a girl trapped inside a man’s body and it’s just not right to have such manly hands! I have tried products such as lotions, creams, and moisturizers to help soften and remove my calluses but sadly, I did not even see a single change in texture and appearance. So I decided to take things one step further, and no I am not talking about surgery!

I found this particular website called Feminization.us *link underneath*  It is apparently an online store that caters to transgender women such as myself to achieve that very feminine look in a very practical, realistic, and instantaneous way. So upon going through their website, I found a particular product that got my attention it is called “Femini Silicone Glove SG3”. I attached a photo for your reference.

sg3

 

This product claims to give you instant feminine hands that can cover big veins, calluses, and scars and give you silky smooth skin for only $350! You can read more about this product at their website (http://www.feminization.us/femini-silicone-glove-sg3-p-136.html) Anyways,  I was a bit hesitant at first since I thought that it is just some plastic glove but then I decided to purchase one as it may be might last hope to achieve my desire of having girly hands and fingers. After a few days I then got my product. And so the trial begins!

This glove only came in one size but surprisingly it fit me like a glove *pun intended*.  The insides felt really good and did not make me sweat. It was quite comfortable actually. My fingers fit and did not in any way felt constricted as I had large hands. Overall, it fit me really well. I asked a friend of mine to feel it while I am using it and she said it felt like real human skin! No wonder since it is made of high grade quality silicone material. Fingernails are nice looking too and you can even change them!

Overall, I like it so far as not only is it comfortable but it felt like actual female skin! I felt more feminine indeed. I however, did not like how it sometimes tends to fold whenever I bend my arm. It could be more fluid in my opinion. Also, needs to have more colors to choose from for people with darker or lighter skin tones.

I encourage you ladies to try it out and see for yourself. Remember, nothing compares to the heavenly touch of a woman’s hand. So hide those man hands now!!!

Surprising combination: lace back top+Femini Just fit Vest

I recently got a new  FEMINI JUST FIT VEST suit from a website, it’s silicone made torso, i can’t wait to show you guy my prefect clothing idea with the suit plus lace straps top.
here is my picture 🙂

my crossdress suit

Wonderful Combination 
The FEMINI JUST FIT VEST arrived in very plain packaging. On opening the bag, the item looked very nice. The lace straps top detailing was quite intricate and very pretty, and FEMINI JUST FIT VEST the quality of finish seemed very high. The outlook and texture of the silicone breast were extremely nice, in a fine delicated material. Overall, I felt it looked much better than the pictures on the web site suggested.
On putting the item on, my first impression was that it was quite a struggle! The garment was tight, and required some effort to pull on. However, that tightness turned out to be a huge benefit. Once on, I was extremely impressed how much better my figure looked in it. the vest gave me a proper waist and breast. The product feels marvellous, and I can’t resist running my hands over the material every now and then. The website images just did not do this justice.
Pros: Gives an amazing breast shape and wonderful out look with the lace white straps top.
Also gives real definition to my cleavage
Very nice materials with good quality finish.
Sizing was absolutely perfect.
Cons: the breast looks smaller than i expected, i should order ST5 of FEMINI JUST FIT VEST instead of ST4
There are a few pictures attached to this post, but be aware they don’t do it full justice. The shoulder straps are sheer material and the bum is transparent lace. There is also a lot of lace detailing on the body that doesn’t show so well in the pics.
Hope some might find this interesting/useful.
** you can find the lace write straps top at the accessories of FEMINI JUST FIT VEST

jason

FEMINI JUST FIT VEST
http://crossdress-shop.com/en/female-breast-suit/15-femini-just-fit-vest-rope.html
write lace straps top
http://crossdress-shop.com/en/sexy-clothing-/109-lace-black-straps-top.html

Admire Breast Form

Instantly get beautiful female breasts with the Admire Breast Form!

  • Looks and feels like true female boobs.
  • Easy attachment as it is self-adhering. Compatible with non-pocketed bras.
  • Nipples so deliciously perky and yummy.
  • With tapered edges that blends perfectly into your natural skin tone.
  • 100% safe and can leave on for days!

Admire Breast Form is perfect because…

  • You don’t need surgery! Attach and detach!
  • It is so comfortable as self-adhesive creates a natural feeling when worn with a non-pocketed bra.
  • It is the only silicone breast form in the market that you can safely keep attached on your body for days! Thanks to its ergonomic “NO MEMBRANE” skin which will never burst, no need for daily maintenance and re-attaching.
  • You may use it with Hollister Spray Adhesives for greater and longer hold.
  • Variety of sizes and colors to fit every single beautiful transgender woman in the world. There will always be a perfect pair to fit you.
  • Extremely discreet storage box included as well.

Admire Breast Form! Just attach and watch others admire!

 

Things You Learn As A Straight Guy Who’s A Crossdresser

Look at the kid clothing aisles in any store and it’s pretty clear-cut: There’s blue roug

h and tumble clothes for the boys and pink frilly dresses for the girls. When a male starts wearing the pink and frilly stuff — despite not being gay or transitioning to female — it confuses the ever-loving fuck out of most people.

Hi there. I’m Vera, and I’m a straight crossdresser (“Hi, Vera”). I’m married to a woman, I have a kid, I love Doctor Who, and occasionally wearing dresses is an important part of my life. This seems to raise a huge number of questions in people’s minds, so let’s get right into it:

#7. Tucking Your Junk Is A Delicate Art Form

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Let’s get this out of the way. Any time a male sees another guy wearing, say, Beyonce’s outfit from the “Single Ladies” video, he has one question: “What does he do with his balls?”
Sony Music Entertainment
Honestly, the dance is harder to learn.
Well, as a crossdresser, I have to tuck my junk regardless of whether I’m wearing a skirt or pants or whatever, because part of feeling feminine is not feeling my penis bump into things. It’s not simply a matter of cramming it back between your legs, either. The biggest problem isn’t my massive pendulous man sausage (hey, it’s my story and I’ll tell it how I like); it’s those delicate testicles.
You can’t squeeze your balls between your thighs, because ouch. Instead, you’ve got to put them back in where they were before they dropped: That cavity in your lower abdomen that they used to be in is still there, and you can push them right back up. An empty scrotum is much easier to tuck away, and once it’s tucked, your balls won’t drop back down, because you’ve squished your sack between your thighs and there’s no empty space for them to drop down into.
Comstock/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Side note: I can now stuff a week’s worth of men’s and women’s clothes in an overnight bag.
Now, that means I can’t use basic women’s underwear, because the elastic isn’t strong enough and your tuck will pop loose and hang out like the stem on a pickle. So I use a gaff, which is like a thong, but made with stronger elastic to keep that shit pressed hard against my body and not jiggling free for a breath of fresh air.
So why do I go through all of that? Not for the reasons most people think. First of all …

#6. Sometimes Sex (In Either Sense) Has Nothing To Do With It

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I know I started cross-dressing as early as age three, because there are photos of me in a tutu, though memory of that is fuzzy at best. But it really started right around the cusp of puberty. Sometimes I would be home alone after school while my mother was at work, and I would try things of hers on and look in the mirror. I didn’t have any body hair at that point, and I would imagine that I was looking at a girl. I don’t know when I started actually seeing myself as that girl, but over time, that’s what happened.
Now, when people see a man dressed as a woman, they make one of two assumptions (well, really they make one of three assumptions, but I don’t feel like addressing the “AHHH! It’s the depraved spawn of Satan! Kill it before it corrupts the children!” folks right now): that you’re a trans woman or that it’s some kind of kinky sex thing. There are plenty of crossdressers in both of those categories, but there are plenty more who are like me — I’m perfectly comfortable in my male skin, but also have a distinctly feminine side of myself that I feel the need to express. And that doesn’t compute for most folks.
altrendo images/Stockbyte/Getty Images
“You’re saying humans are individual beings with varying tastes and personalities?”
“Yes.”
“I … don’t follow.”
I don’t spend my time at work antsy and uncomfortable at the fact that I’m dressed as a man. Nor does the thought of putting on pantyhose give me a lady boner (which I suppose in my case would be a garden-variety boner, but whatever). It’s about getting to bring out my feminine side every now and then. Part of where it gets weird, even for the dressers ourselves, is learning to differentiate between something feeling sexy and it being sexual. I can put on all this stuff (and it’s a lot of stuff, we’ll get into that in a moment) and feel incredibly sexy, but it doesn’t get me off. It may seem like a fine line, but really, it’s the same way that any woman can put on a slinky dress and heels and feel powerfully sexy, but that doesn’t mean it gives her a sexual thrill in and of itself. It’s a look, not a fetish.
And yet I still face a metric fuckton of pressure to make it about sex, especially in online communities. In my experience, pretty much every large community of note has a dating site aspect to it somewhere. In this case, men who fetishize crossdressers use such sites to go about finding crossdressers willing to fuck them. Even if I put in my profile that I have no interest in hooking up or that I’m married, I still get inundated. These men — and it’s always men — think that you’re just a submissive, and that if they can show enough dominance, they can strong-arm you into doing what they want.
Medioimages/Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images
“Still no reply … Better send another dick pic to sweeten the deal.”
The disturbing thing is that in a lot of cases, it works — especially with dressers who are starting out or are closeted. What most of us want more than anything is validation of our femininity. Unfortunately, the easiest way to get that, the sort of crack cocaine version of it, is to appeal to men who will sexualize you like some kind of feminized fucktoy. And even that kind of acknowledgement feeds the need for approval on some level, meaning that many crossdressers, even if they’re attracted to women, have stories of agreeing to do something with a man (online or in person) that they wouldn’t have otherwise done.
The validation that you are feminine and you are enticing is a big pull for most of us, and if we’re not getting it from friends, family, or healthy relationships, it’s easy to slip into getting it from wherever you can.

#5. It’s An Incredible Amount Of Work

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It’s true that not all crossdressers go all out. Some will just wear women’s underwear or pantyhose under their suits and go about their days. Others might put on dresses but not do makeup. For folks who are closeted in some fashion, dressing tends to only be a partial thing. This is especially true for those either still living with family or roommates who don’t know, or (more complicatedly) have spouses who don’t know. They’ll put on what they can when they can, but it tends to be a smattering of small items that they can easily hide in a box marked “FREAKY ASS PORN — SERIOUSLY, DON’T OPEN THIS.” As for me, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I’ll do the full hair and makeup and clothes or I won’t do anything at all.
MackoFlower/iStock/Getty Images
With cheekbones as great as mine, it’d be weird not to accentuate them.
I generally know when I’m going to dress (at a trans-friendly event, burlesque shows, that sort of thing), so I’ll do body hair removal the day before. For most guys, this is virgin territory, but I’m sure any women reading this is thinking “Yeah, I know all about this.” Hate to break it to you ladies, but not like this you don’t. Do you know how much Nair it takes to leave Bigfoot silky smooth? Of course, there’s multiple ways to get rid of the mess, and frequently I will just shave, which in my case means legs and chest and pits (plus tweezers between the eyebrows to eliminate any stragglers that might hint at a unibrow).
I’m fortunate in that I don’t really have to do anything to my arms — I have very minimal, light-colored hair. I also don’t have to do anything to my back. There are crossdressers who are Robin Williams levels of hairy, and I thank my pink twinkling stars that isn’t me. I have tried everything: epilators, creams, even professional waxing a couple of times (which is my favorite, but expensive; also I have to drive two hours to find a waxer who will even touch somebody with dangly sex bits).
Carlos Oliveras/iStock/Getty Images
“You people work on body hair commission, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
Face-shaving is separate from the body shave, you have to do that pretty much right before you do your makeup to minimize beard shadow. You can forget those fancy light powder makeups that the rich folks use; you need a liquid foundation, and then when you put a powder over that, you have to use a compact concealer. Start dabbling with translucent stuff and that’s when your stubble shows through.
Next, you’ll find out that …

#4. Women’s Clothes Aren’t Made To Fit Dudes

Siri Stafford/Photodisc/Getty Images
OK, your unwanted hair is gone, so now you pick your outfit. Undergarments are a bra to hold in the breast forms (i.e. the fake silicone or foam tits we keep in a box marked “TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD MEMORIES — DON’T GO POKING THROUGH HERE!”) and the aforementioned thong to keep my tuck from escaping. I also have a variety of wigs, so another aspect of putting together an outfit is deciding which hair is going to go with it. So now you can add wig maintenance to your to-do list — the brushing and washing and trying to get it back into the style it was when you bought the stupid thing.
And then there is the confusing labyrinth that is women’s clothing sizes. If you’re a guy shopping for men’s clothes, you know that no matter where you go, no matter what brand, you’re probably the same pants size. Shirts are S, M, L, and XL. With women’s clothes, it’s a crapshoot at best — I wear anything from an eight to a 14, depending on the brand. Oh, and you have to do all of this experimenting at home if you’re not “out” with your crossdressing. Otherwise, you’re risking a coworker seeing you head into the Gap dressing room with an armload of miniskirts. So each misfire means a trip back to the store.
luanateutzi/iStock/Getty Images
“One size fits most,” my (poorly concealed) ass.
And we haven’t even mentioned the biggest issue, which is that men are shaped differently — we tend not to have those curvy hips and waists. So already I’m trying to pick clothes based on my size-D breast forms, and then, because women’s clothes are designed on the assumption that you have at least some level of hips, I need a corset. You’ve got to get one with steel boning (and no, that’s not the name of the Iron Giant porn parody); most cheaper corsets use plastic, which will warp and fall out of shape almost immediately. With tops, I stick with mostly sleeveless or short sleeves, because long sleeves end up only going halfway between my elbow and wrist — guys have longer arms.
As for shoes, at least the sizes are consistent … but then you have to learn how to walk in them without falling on your ass. That takes practice, which of course is the one thing the closeted crossdressers with roommates or spouses never get the chance to do. Which brings us to how …

#3. Relationships Can Be Complicated

Stockbyte/Stockbyte/Getty Images
This one can almost go without saying, but man it’s a doozy. If you’re going to have a long-term relationship, the inevitable questions come up: “Do I tell her?” “When do I tell her?” “What if she rejects me?” “Could I stop if she asked me to?” Remember, this isn’t just something done as a fashion statement, like if your significant other asked you to throw out your “Free Mustache Rides” baseball cap. With crossdressers, it’s a key part of their identity.
You get double complication points if you start to get a handle on this side of yourself after you’re already in a committed relationship. Rejection, or even the fear of it, leads to a depressing cycle of wardrobe purging for many dressers, when they throw out all their makeup and dresses at the insistence of a spouse, or out of fear they’ll find out. But if you truly have the need to express your feminine side, that doesn’t go away. And then it leads to not only being in the closet, but dressing behind somebody’s back, which is a breach of trust on top of everything else.
George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images
It’s hard to be in the figurative closet when the secret you’re hiding is in your literal one.
I am insanely lucky because my wife has been wonderfully supportive. I know I’m lucky, because there are a million horror stories about dressers coming out to their wives or girlfriends with disastrous results. In many cases, it’s not the dressing itself that throws everything out of whack; it’s the secrets and the sense that the dresser was keeping something from them.
As for me and my wife: We dated in college and at the time I had a dorm room to myself. The room was a disaster, as is typical in that situation, so one day when she was there without me, she made the heroic attempt to try to pick up a bit. She came across a pair of women’s pantyhose, and when I got back she confronted me with them. “Whose are these??”
I paused, and then, figuring I had nothing to lose, said, “Those are mine.”
pojoslaw/iStock/Getty Images
It was either the truth, or a fake confession about liquor store robberies.
She only said, “Oh. Well that’s okay then.”
See? Lucky fucker, that’s me. We actually didn’t talk about it directly for a long time — she just kind of got it. It was a while before we sat down and had conversations about it. By then most of it had to do with sort of figuring out how much of my life I wanted this to be. I started asking, “Is this something I want for my life? Do I want to transition?” I suspect most part-time dressers go through this questioning phase, and so that was sort of why we started talking about it more directly. Finding the balance that I now enjoy came out of much soul searching and many conversations. But even then …

#2. You Don’t Really Fit In Anywhere

whiteisthecolor/iStock/Getty Images
The thing about being a straight crossdresser is that, on top of not really fitting into mainstream society, you don’t really fit into the LGBT community either. Gay men tend to get annoyed and believe we don’t know what their struggle is like, bisexuals seem to find it confusing because many assume mixing genders would mean liking both. The trans part of the LGBT equation is where you’d think crossdressers would fit in, but there’s a lot of infighting in that group which is kind of hard to sum up. Let me put it this way: I’m a crossdresser who has no issues putting myself out there on the interwebs or strutting about in public from time to time, but to date, the most hostility I’ve encountered has not been from the homophobic fuckwits you’d expect, but from trans women.
Obviously not all of them are hostile, but I think that many of them have a violent gag reflex at the thought of being associated with someone who is “just” a man in a dress. They’ve obviously been through plenty of shit to get to live as the women they feel they are, and I get not wanting to be belittled by some dude who they see as doing it for fun or attention. And even they tend to make the assumption we talked about earlier — that if you’re not gay or transitioning, then it must be a sexual kink. Online (where everybody feels safe to throw shit) I’ve been told flat out, “You’re not even transgender, so stop acting like a woman,” as if there’s some sort of entrance fee on femininity that I’m trying to skimp out on.
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“Did you even pay dues at the last union meeting?”
I mentioned that I perform in burlesque shows. I haven’t performed in a drag show for years, because they’re bitchy and cliquey and I hate the drama (yes, somehow Rupaul’s Drag Race winds up being an accurate portrayal of reality). So since I wasn’t doing the big hair, ball gown, lip sync to Donna Summer thing, I found myself getting more than a few sideways glances. And those turned into not-very-hushed whispers once word got around that I was straight.
Where I’ve found the most acceptance is with lesbians and drag kings, and I couldn’t really tell you why, but also with the burlesque community, because they’re kind of “all are welcome” by their very nature. But no matter where I go, I have to deal with the fact that …

#1. Pop Culture Has Confused Everyone

20th Century Fox
I mentioned that there’s a period of confusion for most dressers, and part of the reason for that is there aren’t really any cultural reference points for this. There’s Eddie Izzard, but he really only does his stand-up specials in dress these days. Now he does a lot of acting work where he’s wearing boys clothes and interviews where he’s sporting a goatee, so even that one purported pillar is kind of a shaky one. Really, the main place where you see crossdressing is in shitty comedies: Big Mama’s HouseSorority BoysWhite Chicks and the like. That’s why I think it throws people off. The pop culture point of reference for a man in a dress who isn’t transitioning is a dumb gag in which a guy is forced to wear a dress by circumstance so it can be played it for laughs (hardy fucking har).
Columbia Pictures, 20th Century Fox, Touchstone Pictures
It’s not too late to change your poor social and Netflix choices.
So I went through years trying to convince myself that I wanted to live as a woman, even though I’d never felt wrong in my male skin. It also took quite a while to come to an understanding that dressing to feel sexy didn’t make dressing sexual. Since my only frame of reference was bad jokes or sexual fetishes or gay men, I thought “Well I must be at least bisexual,” so I spent a lot of time trying to fit a square peg in a round hole before finally being able to separate sexual orientation from gender identity.
Ultimately, I occupy a weird little spot in between so many of the more clearly defined designations for gender, sexuality, etc. The funny thing is, I’ve grown to like it here. In an odd way, being hard to categorize has made me feel a little bit more special. It forces people to have to examine me a little closer if they want to ever understand me. Plus it makes close-minded people’s heads explode like fucking Scanners, and that never gets old.

20 Things Which every Crossdresser must know about Women!

A woman has always been a mystery for both men and women themselves. There are so many things which make us different from men and special in our own peculiar way. However, after all these years of studying and observing women there are thing more or less common for our ‘race’ (or ‘kind’). Here is the list of scientifically proven (and not proven) that will help you (or not) understand women better. Let’s start from physiology and move to habits crossdressers.

1. Women have a faster heartbeat (78 beats per minute )
The rate of heartbeat depends on the size of body in general. As women’s bodies are smaller on average than men’s, their hearts beat faster.

2. Women blink twice more often than men
This is generally explained by the higher levels of hormone Estrogen in women’s bodies.
3. Women are better smellers…
It’s not because the better sense of smell. Women tend to differentiate smells better than men and detect specific smells correctly.
 
4. And better listeners!
The trick is women listen with both sides of brain while men use only left side of brain for listening.
 
5. …but lousy drinkers
Women can drink the same amount of alcohol but will have a higher alcohol level in blood than men do. Thus, we have lower alcohol tolerance, we are prone to become alcohol addicts sooner than men and suffer more from hangovers. In other words, drinking is not women’s cup of tea.
 
6. Women’s life expectancy is higher than it is for men worldwide.
This may be explained by different factors – the rate of hormons (testosterone and estrogen) in organism, women’s slower metabolism, lower death rate in childhood, better ability to adjust to the environment. However, the longer life expectancy doesn’t mean women are healthier than men. It just means we can leave through the conditions that men die from.
7. Women speak about 20,000 words a day while for average man this number is 13,000 times less.
Yes. Women are that chatty. On the other hand, if they have so much topics to discuss – good for them!
 
8. Women cry about 30-64 times a year. Men cry on average 6 to 17 times a year.
Hormones again are the reason. 60 percent more prolactin in women’s bodies – and we are crying rivers while men remain calm and dry.
 
9. Fun fact: an average woman eats about 2-3 kilos of lipstik (per lifetime).
Question: Does it have to be considered when making a diet plan?
 
10. The first computer programmer was a woman Ada Lovelace (1815 -1852 )
Now, who said we are not good with math?
 
11. Both cases of highest IQs recorded (ever) belong to women.
Yup, we are that brainy. No more women’s logic related jokes, please.
 
12. Why do women lack free time? That’s the answer!
According to researches, women spend on average120 hours a year looking in the mirrors, over 4 years of their lives menstruating, and approximately one year of their lives deciding what to wear. That’s a lot of busy time, indeed!
 
13. When woman dresses, she usually puts on a blouse first. Pants come second. For men it is vice versa.
Science can’t explain this fact. That’s just how things work transgender.
 
14. Women prefer chocolate over sex!
Seventy percent of women would have a bar of chocolate instead of having sex. Well, it’s not a secret that men need more sex than women. While men enjoy physical side, women enjoy the emotions they get during intimacy. So, does it mean chocolate gives us more emotional pleasure! That is something for men to think about…
 
15. Only 30% of women can orgasm from intercourse. And the same amount of women have trouble reaching orgasm.
The reasons vary from physiological peculiarities, lack sex education, inexprienced partner or wrong positions. The habit of faking orgasm instead of talking with a partner and solving the problem may also be the reason why women prefer chocolate.
 
16. There is always at least one thing that woman doesn’t like about her body. Usually that’s either weight, or breast size.
Even super models who seem perfect to anyone try to hide some imperfections they notice about their body. Seriously, women are so self-critical.
 
17. High heels create the effect of roundish butt (it sticks out 25 percent more)
However, we all know stilettos are not practical, they seem to have strong advantages.
 
And now, a couple of facts about women which are not scientifically proven but were said by the wise men and so should be taken for granted crossdressing.

18. ‘A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.’ – Oliver Herford
 
19. ‘Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right – instantly.’ – Sam Slick
 
20. ‘Women are made to be loved, not understood.’ – Oscar Wilde