TAGGED POSTS / crossdresser

Sunday Shorts and Longs

Friday, I made the rounds around town – bank, gas station, Rite Aid.Nothing unusual at the bank – still no free samples.Filled her up at the gas station and after I paid up, the cashier and I gossiped. I used to see her once a week and now see her onc…

Tea Time—Wearing a simply beautiful dress from Simply Be

Wearing a simply beautiful dress from Simply BeFriday afternoon, I went to Tea Roses Tea Room in Cromwell to attend a tea with three of my trans friends: Diana, Maryann and Robin.I was dying to wear my new dress from Simply Be and this was the perfect …

Workplace Rights

Despite major wins within the LGBTQ community in recent years, many transgender and non-conforming gender individuals feel there’s still a lot more to do in the fight for equality both in and out of the office.

Here is a helpful guide for transgender workers, from new graduates just entering the workforce to seasoned working professionals, as well as employers and hiring managers. Learn more about current transgender workplace rights, how to navigate some of the biggest workplace and job hunting concerns, and see what employers can do to lay the foundation for safe and inclusive work environments.

Transgender and non-conforming gender (TGNC) individuals are protected by policies and laws intended to eliminate harassment and discrimination. While some protections are at the federal level, many states, counties, and cities have their own policies in place. “Protection laws differ from state to state, so it’s important that you check the state in which you work,” notes Dr. Kristie Overstreet, a clinical sexologist and psychotherapist who specializes in transgender identities.

Where I live (Connecticut), we have been protected for some time. My former company had policies in place even before the state and my Human Resources representative was ready and willing to help me to transition into a working woman whenever I was ready. I was also greeted with open arms when I inquired about working as a woman at a local Dress Barn. That’s Connecticut and your mileage may vary depending on where you live, so check out the Workplace Guide and see where you stand.

Source: Ann Taylor
Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)
Benjamin Koldyke
Benjamin Koldyke femulating in television’s Work It!

Where’s the Barn?

My Simply Be dress.Diana asked me to accompany her to Dress Barn to help pick out a dress for her upcoming high school reunion. You know how I like Dress Barn, so I was happy to go shopping with her after tea on Friday,We drove to a nearby Dress Barn t…

Remembering Frederick’s

It’s Throwback Thursday, so I am repeating this popular post. I hope you enjoy it.

Wearing my Fredericks’ of Hollywood
purchases (bra, waist cincher and wig)

Forty-five years ago, when I began to seriously explore my femininity, I thought Frederick’s of Hollywood was the be-all and end-all for femulating. They seemed to carry everything I needed – exotic lingerie, high heels, sexy hosiery, showgirl wigs, gaudy jewelry, cheap makeup, short skirts, skimpy tops and tight dresses. One-stop shopping for my inner slut!

Back then, there seemed to be a Frederick’s store in every mall including the one near the apartment I lived in while attending law school. So when I finally mustered up the courage to buy my own feminine finery (instead of borrowing/swiping my mother’s and sister’s), I headed to the nearest Frederick’s emporium.

As I recall, I bought my first bra with optional inserts, my first waist cincher and my first wig that day. It was in the fall, so I may have used the Halloween excuse, but I don’t think so because I recall the saleswoman trying to push all sorts of products on me – stuff that I would not need beyond a one-time Halloween party.

With my natural B-cups, I surely did not need the optional inserts for the bra I was purchasing, so after she talked me into buying the inserts anyway, I stood my ground and insisted that my pocketbook was only so deep and I could only afford the bra, inserts, cincher and wig.

She finally relented, rang me up and I was on my way down the yellow brick road.

So that day, I made my first purchases of “girl stuff” from Frederick’s of Hollywood. Where did you buy your first “girl stuff?” Do you have a Frederick’s of Hollywood story?

Source: Intermix
Wearing (left) Sarah Magid earrings, Alessandra Rich dress, Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and (right) Lizzie Fortunato earrings, Misha dress, Aquazzura shoes, Tambonita bag (Source: Intermix)

Don Winslow
Don Winslow in the Navy, 1940

Sizes: Good News and Bad News

The Bad

On Friday, I mentioned buying a new Rago bra and girdle. The garments arrived Friday afternoon and I tried them on to see how they fit. I ordered the bra and girdle sizes that I usually wear, so I was very disappointed that both items were too small.

I put the girdle on OK and it hugged me like a glove, but it was not long enough. Although it is billed as “high waisted,” it barely reached my waistline and was obviously not designed for women who are 5 feet 14 inches tall. I returned it for a refund.

The bra was very tight. The cups were a perfect fit for my breasts, but the band was too small by about an inch and a half, so I sent it back and ordered the next larger band size. If you purchase this bra, I advise you to order it one band size larger than the size you think you need.

The Good

I joined JustFab about four years ago. On the first day of each month, they email me suggestions of new footwear that match my style requirements.

They have a nice selection of shoes and boots at reasonable prices (about $40 a pair), but size 11 was the largest size they offered. Sometimes 11 fits me, so early on, I ordered some heels from JustFab, but I had to return them because they were too small.

Even though I stopped buying footwear from JustFab, they kept emailing me new suggestions every month and every month, I rejected their suggestions. (If I don’t reject them, they bill me after the 5th of the month whether I choose something or not.)

Retro-girl that I am, I have had a hankering for a pair of white booties. So when the monthly JustFab email arrived on Sunday, I decided to explore their offerings just for the heck of it and lo and behold, they had a pair of white booties to die for… if they only offered them in my size!

And then I noticed that they had the boots in size 12! I checked other boots and shoes that they offered and discovered that most of them also had a size 12 option.

I had no idea that JustFab started selling size 12’s! When did that happen?

Needless to say, I ordered the booties and they are on their way.

Source: JustFab
Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)
Mart Müürisepp
Mart Müürisepp femulates Nancy Sinatra on Estonian television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Femulating at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

By Starla, Femulate Contributing Editor

(Artist conception)
(Artist conception)

Trump Son-in-law Registered to Vote as a Woman

This odd little news item has been all but abandoned by the press after it first hit the wires. (It’s almost like they’re not sure what to make of it.)

There is so much odd and unexplained about this revelation. Was this a purposeful act? Or a typo that never got fixed? (Or was it a Freudian slip? –Stana) I mean, I don’t know why a male would register as a female on purpose unless they were transitioning or leading a de factro female life. And one would think that an obvious male voting with a female-coded registration would raise a few eyebrows, no?

In fact, speaking of eyebrows… is it just me or have others noticed that Kushner’s brows are rather thin, well-shaped and groomed for a man? And what about his slight build and very smooth complexion? And that’s a rather feminine gesture he’s making in the photo accompanying the link.

Might or might not add up to something. I’m just sayin’…

Actually, before this story even hit the press, I had mentally checked off Kushner as one of those men who looked like he would make a very attractive female. Wouldn’t shock me if he were a crossdresser.

I concur. The first time I saw him many months ago, my trans radar sounded off. Shaped, thinned and trimmed eyebrows are often a sign that a femulator is in our midst and this gent certainly has girlish brows, not to mention his clear complexion. Researching this matter further on the Internet, I also discovered that Kushner has a feminine “light tenor voice.” Lucky! – Stana



Source: ModCloth
Wearing ModCloth (Source: ModCloth)
Femulating on her big day!
Femulating on her big day!

It takes an effort to look effortless

By Paula Gaikowski

I just want to say I agree with Stana’s comments over the last few days.

There seems to be a vain of sanctimonious smugness that runs through our sorority, a political correctness that surrounds passing, sexuality and crossdressers in the transgender community. Let’s remember that together we are sisters supporting each other.

Transgender women just want the human race to know that we are women!

The hair, makeup, clothes, lingerie, voice lessons and of course, shoes are all gestures to the world that we are women.

Just like the cowboy who wears his hat, jeans and boots in the airport, he is saying to the world, “These clothes reflect who I am, a culture that I belong to, a philosophy that I adhere to and a vocation that I perform.”

The banker, the rocker and the professor – they all send a message with their clothes.

That is the reason we do this – we want people to know who we are. That deep down, under the five o’clock shadow and receding hairline, we all have to some varying extent the hearts and souls of feminine beings.

That’s why we so often ask about passing, presenting or how do I look? It is the reason why we in the transgender community take more pictures than most tourists. Ever notice that you are the only person at the family reunion that knows exactly how to work the self-timer on the camera! We want acknowledgement, we are sending radio waves out into the Universe and listening, searching, longing to know if we are being heard.

I always dreamed of going out in public as a woman. When I turned 50, middle age crazy took over and I began working on it.

First, I began losing weight. Nothing makes you feel or look better, than being physically fit. I went from a size 26W to a 16 Misses. (How you lose the weight is another issue all together.)

I began buying makeup from a very helpful sales associate at the NARS counter. Every couple of weeks I’d buy another piece of cosmetic and she would tutor me. Kasey was the first person who taught me not to be ashamed of being transgender.

I would practice at home. Even if I wasn’t getting dressed, I would apply my makeup, getting better each time. I’d watch YouTube tutorials when I couldn’t practice.

I saved up and bought a good wig. Wig stores are all transgender friendly! If you don’t believe me call one, be polite and honest, tell them you are a transgender person looking for a wig and would like to come in. I guarantee you are not the first.

Once you have the hair, learn how to style it. Ask you your wig lady for lessons. I have had several classes where she taught me how to style and comb out my wig. After the classes practice, practice, practice.

I found a gender therapist and for the first time in my life spoke openly and face-to-face with someone about this. Speak with any girl and she will tell you this is a big part of self-acceptance. Because of this I was able to shed the guilt and shame I struggled with for years. I was also able to understand where I wanted to go with this. That’s when I set my goal of being able to go out in public as a woman on a regular schedule.

Get a big sister. Connect with another girl online or in person, even if you meet in drab as friends. Having someone like yourself to support each other is important.

Practice your voice with a smart phones recording app. Use your feminine voice every day.  I recite a memorized speech each day during my drive to and from work. After several months, my femme voice started to really sound natural.

Become a student of fashion, find a transgender mentor and study other women. Which one are you? Find your style and not your fantasy.

So much of my presentation has become second nature to me now. I walk out the hotel room door, smile at the maid and stop at the front desk without trepidation or anxiety. This self-assurance is contagious to everyone around you – it validates your appearance to them.

When I visit cosmetic counters in girl mode, I am always open about being transgender. When you get this close to a person they can tell I am transgender  The sale associates seem to love the diversion of having a transgender customer. We always have great conversations and I always ask them about my appearance. Most often, the words I hear are, poised, natural and classic.

They say 90% of presentation is attitude and confidence. This takes effort and work. That confidence and attitude comes from the steps I outlined above. My point is that it takes an effort to look effortless. This effort is all part of being a woman.

Please remember to enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and even the failures.

Source: Tory Burch
Wearing Tory Burch (Source: Tory Burch)
Gabe Belyeu
Gabe Belyeu femulating on stage in La Cage Aux Folles.

Don’t stand out as a fake

By Beth ElegirlAs always, I admire you for your leadership and vision that you bring to transgenderism. I also admire when you take a stand on something controversial. I simply wish to try to organize my thoughts on this very interesting topic. Here go…

My size doesn’t make me genderless

Game of Thrones‘ Gwendoline Christie says she still loves wearing heels despite being 6’3″. Christie hopes her stature breaks the mold of traditional beauty standards in Hollywood.

“I hope it helps change people’s perceptions of what beauty is,” she tells People in this week’s issue. “I think my size, or the roles that I’ve been lucky enough to play, have helped people see a broader definition of femininity. It’s important that all kinds of people are represented onscreen.”

Height is “not something I think too much about” and says she loves wearing heels and embracing her femininity. “My size doesn’t make me genderless.”

👠👠👠

I am over six feet tall, so I am a tall woman.

About the time I started femulating in my early teens, I became interested in tall women because they affirmed my existence as a tall woman, i.e., I was not the only tall woman out and about in society. Few were as tall as me, but maybe there were enough out there so that I could blend in more easily as just another tall woman.

In the past, tall women tried to blend in with their shorter sisters, so they dressed down (pun intended); instead of celebrating their height, they tried to hide it (to appear less intimidating to men).

Also, tall women did not have a lot to choose from clothes-wise. Few clothiers catered to tall women, so tall women had to make do with what was available, which typically did not celebrate tall women’s height.

Today, tall women are out and proud and celebrate their height. They have more clothing to choose from now that more clothiers recognize their potential as customers. They no longer dress down to hide their height. They wear high heels and leg baring skirts and dresses. They don’t care if
they are intimidating. They’ve come a long way!

It is a great time to be a tall woman, or a tall femulator.

(Visit my list of Famous Females of Height to see who else is tall.)

Source: ShopBop
Wearing Diane von Furstenberg (Source: ShopBop)
Grzegorz Wilk
Grzegorz Wilk femulates Amanda Lear on Polish television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.

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