Shopped ‘Til She Dropped

SISSY Dressing Room SeI never get tired of shopping for women’s clothing. Browsing through the racks and finding a half-dozen outfits to take to the changing room is just as much fun today as it was when I would browse through my mother’s closet and find outfits to try on in front of her full-length mirror. Just writing about shopping motivates me to go shopping. After all I do need something new to wear when I go to First Event (as if I don’t already have a half-dozen dresses hanging in my closet that still have their price tags attached). Someday my tombstone will read, “Shopped ‘Til She Dropped.” Anyway here are a few thing I learned when shopping. 👠 If a store associate is available when going to the changing room to try on your finds, play dumb and ask where the changing rooms are located. I do this whenever possible for insurance purposes, that is, if somebody complains about a dude in the lady’s dressing room, the dude can say that’s where the store associate told me to go. 👠 Take as many outfits as possible to try on when you go to the changing room. Some stores limit the number you can take in, some don’t, but in any case, go for the max in order to minimize the number of times you have to change your street clothes. 👠 Shop at smaller women’s clothing stores rather than big department stores. You won’t get a lot of hands-on assistance in large department stores, however, you usually will get assistance in smaller women’s clothing stores. For example, when you are ready to try on your finds, an associate will “start” a dressing room for you (your very own queendom) and sometimes they will even put a sign on the door reserving that room for you with your femme name emblazoned on the sign. If something is the wrong size, the associate will fetch another size to try on saving you the trouble of getting back into your street clothes to do the fetching yourself. 👠 In smaller stores, savvy associates will size you up and recommend clothing for you to try on. This has happened to me more than once and I ended up trying clothing on that looked great on me, but I would have never given a second look if the sales associate had not made the suggestion. 👠 Speaking of street clothes, wear an outfit that you can strip off and put back on easily. I own a sweater dress that has a full-length zipper in front, which is perfect for quick undressing/dressing. Jumpsuits also work well. 👠 The associates want to sell, so if they compliment you on what you try on, take the compliment with a grain of salt. If you go shopping with a friend, your friend’s compliments may not be any more valuable than the store associate’s because your friend may not want to hurt your feelings. So here is a way I get an independent appraisal of what I am trying on… I step out of the dressing room on the pretense of viewing myself in the full-length mirrors usually hung throughout the store. My goal is for another customer to see me while I am doing this. If they gush over what I am wearing, it is a bingo! Whenever I have done this, other customers always check me out while I am checking me out and if they like what they see, they let me know. 👠 For a quick self-appraisal, take a selfie or have an associate take your photo. The difference between what you “see” in a mirror and what you “see” in a photo is surprising ― trust the photo, not the mirror. Shopping for women’s clothing is almost as much fun as wearing women’s clothing! So, you go girls and have some fun!

Arrowverse Takes Aim At Alt-Right in Crisis on Earth-X

WARNING: the next article includes spoilers with this week’s symptoms of Supergirl and Arrow, the very first two parts of “Crisis on Earth-X,” which premiered Monday, Nov. 27, on CW.

In a political weather in which an innocuous cartoon frog is transformed into a hate sign, and neo-Confederates and white nationalists carry torches through an American town while chanting “blood and earth” and “Jews will likely not replace united states,” The CW’s 2017 Arrowverse crossover “Crisis on Earth-X” seems specially appropriate. However, its depiction of a parallel planet upon which the Nazis won World War II and produced evil alternatives to such heroes as Arrow, Supergirl together with Flash, in addition struck a nerve with some watchers, who thought this alternate truth thought a touch too real.

RELATED: Anything We Realize About Crisis on Earth-X

The lines tend to be further blurred insurance firms Supergirl celebrity Melissa Benoist pull double duty while the Nazi Overgirl, and Stephen Amell play both Green Arrow and black Arrow. Although The Flash star Grant Gustin guaranteed the two-night event wouldn’t be as bleak even as we might anticipate, given the subject material — undoubtedly, Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak parrot Indiana Jones in promos, declaring, “Nazis? We hate Nazis!” as Stormtroopers dash in — neither does the crossover overlook the more sobering echoes of existing events.

crisis on earth-x

about this week’s episode of Supergirl, role 1 of “Crisis on Earth-X,” Nazi forces led by black Arrow, Overgirl and Prometheus crash the wedding of Barry Allen and Iris West, leading to the anticipated battle using heroes in attendance. The fast-paced fight actually leaves short amount of time for representation, but when the visitors tend to be safe therefore the invaders momentarily pressed straight back, the heroes regroup at S.T.A.R. laboratories to lock up the grabbed Prometheus, tend to the wounded and get some burning up questions — beginning with just who those Nazis are, and what they need.

“If i am aware my record,” states Felicity (Emily Bett Rickards), “ethnic cleansing, globe domination.” Jax Jackson (Franz Drameh) adds, “Make America Aryan Once More.” It’s an obvious nod to Donald Trump’s campaign slogan, “Make The united states Great once again,” which has taken on a social media life of unique as #MAGA, an acronym associated anything from presidential tweets to political parodies to white-nationalist screeds.

RELATED: Team Arrow Stars Discuss Their Roles in Crisis on Earth-X

Jax’s remark is punctuated first by Caitlin Snow (Danielle Panabaker), whom claims, “Which it never was,” then by Iris West (Candice Patton), ready with her very own Twitter-friendly “Hashtag melting cooking pot.”

But it’s Martin Stein (Victor Garber) who underscores the political discourse by noting these mystical intruders “support a reason that has been beaten over 70 years back.” It’s an echo of observations produced in August as startling video footage had been broadcast associated with Unite suitable rally, the function in Charlottesville, Virginia, that concluded in violence as protestors clashed with counter-protestors. Dozens were injured, and one counter-protestor ended up being killed whenever a crowd ended up being rammed by a car or truck driven by a guy linked to white-supremacist teams.

as well as on Arrow, the second part of “Crisis on Earth-X,” Alex Danvers (Chyler Leigh) finds her own conclusion towards the honest debate that gripped cyberspace not so long-ago: it”s not only OK to punch a Nazi, it’s evidently fun. “Punching Nazis,” she says. “That was surely because satisfying when I thought it could be!”


Kandi’s Land

As a new feature of Femulate, I plan to identify new blogs that will be of interest to femulators. The first blog to be so identified is Kandi's Land, a blog written by a Cleveland girl, who is very out and about and has the blessing of her wife to do so.

Here is a sample from Kandi's blog.


I am a crossdresser! There. I said it. October 2014. Never admitted that to myself, but have always been one. Hated myself for it. It has always been a compulsion, an urge, never something I ever enjoyed. What is wrong with me? It turns out, nothing!

Okay, now what do I do? Having purged a small bedroom full of women’s clothes over the course of my 50+ years, let’s start fresh. Let’s see if I can enjoy this. Purchase a few things. Okay, I like that. Add a few more. Keep them for more that an hour, a day, a week. So far, so good. How do I feel? Different, better, happy.

I need to make some life changes. If I am going down this road, I need to look half decent. I begin the road that would result in my dropping 35 pounds and eventually becoming a very competitive runner, routinely winning my age groups comfortably in 5Ks, now winning my age group in half marathons and most recently completing my first full marathon. Happiness matters.

So now I am getting slimmer, getting in good shape, happy with myself. But the big hurdle remains. I am very happily married with two grown and successful daughters. It took well over a month to gather the courage to tell my wife. December 2, 2014 is the day. If she is not on board, this all stops, no questions asked. And I would completely understand her not being happy with it. I find the words, show her my painted toenails, tell her how it all makes me happy. In a moment I will never forget, she says she just wants me to be happy. You know that feeling when you fall in love with someone? I did that all over again, almost 30 years into our marriage. I was immediately transformed. My life is still filled with ups and downs, but my “default” mood is always one of happiness. My smile, previously buried under a crappy mustache and displayed only when made happy (instead of being happy) by family and friends, became ever present. Now what do I do? What have I done!!!!

The work begins. Removing more body hair than your average polar bear. Developing those routines that women do, not men. Moisturizing. Frequent shaving. Now do I really want to do this? I begin purchasing items to be included in my wardrobe. I have no fear of buying women’s clothing as a man. None. A bra fitting? Why not. A new dress? Of course.

I schedule a makeover at Janet’s Closet in Detroit. I need to see what I would look like. Not bad. To paraphrase Rudolph (the Red Nosed Reindeer)….I’m cute!!!!! Or at least not hideous. I let the girls there talk me into wearing clothing I would never dream of wearing now and I make a walk through the mall. I survive (although read by some teenage girls). I go out with some seasoned “girls” (I hate the term “gurls”). I survive! Now the real work begins. How do I build a real life for Kandi. She is not simply going to hang out at CD bars and shop, shop, shop (although she does a lot of that).

My hope is that this blog can show you how to make your life a happy one if you are a crossdresser.  I completely understand I am very different than a transgendered woman. Apples and oranges.

My world view is one of extreme optimism. The world is so much better than the media would make you believe. No question, we live in troubled times. But I have now been out probably 300 times. I am frequently complemented, have received more hugs from total strangers than one can count, had drinks and meals purchased for me and am an active member of a church, many charitable organizations and even a woman’s social group. I also understand that I have the blessing of my wife, a HUGE benefit to my being able to achieve that happiness. Come on along for the ride!

Visiting Roz & Ali (Dress Barn), Macy’s and Burger King


My last three stops on Tuesday were Roz & Ali (nee Dress Barn), Macy's and Burger King. I will describe them in reverse order.

Burger King

My wife asked me to pick up some fast food from Burger King on the way home, so I stopped at the King closest to my home. Although it was in between lunch and dinner, this King is always busy because it is easy access from Interstate I-84.

I walked in, placed my order, waited 5 minutes for the special no-ketchup Whopper, received my order and exited the premises without incident. I was an invisible older women. Although a couple of guys did check me out briefly, they were younger and probably not interested when they saw I was old enough to be their mother or grandmother!


This was a "I'm feeling so great that I don't want to return to boy mode stop" just to extend my day out. The store was not very busy — just a few older women like me perusing the racks. A couple of sales reps greeted me, but that was the extent of my interaction with any living beings.

I did find a beautiful Calvin Klein dress that was marked down considerably and I thought about trying it on, but I did not for reasons you will read below.

Roz & Ali (nee Dress Barn)

I visited my favorite Dress Barn — the one near my former employer where they know me in boy and girl mode — also where I filled out a job application.

I know the manager and sales rep who were on duty by name and they know me by name. I had conversations with both of them about the store's name change and I also asked the manager about my job application. She said they weren't hiring right now because they had closed three other local Dress Barns during the summer.

Perusing the racks, nothing knocked me out, but I found two dresses in Misses size 14 that had potential and the sales rep opened a changing room for me. First I tried on the floral print you see in the photo above. It fit perfectly and I was surprised how much better it looked on me than on the rack! It was a keeper.

The second dress was a sexy black number — something I could see Sophia Loren wearing to a funeral. The top of the dress was too small and I could not zip it up. The sales rep found one in Woman's size 14W, which I was able to zip up easily, but it was too roomy in the waist, so I rejected it and went home with just one new dress to add to my wardrobe.

By the way, the reason I did not try on the Calvin Klein dress in Macy's was because changing out and back into a skirt suit was so time-consuming at Dress Barn that I did not want to repeat it at Macy's. Removing the jacket, skirt and blouse was easy enough, but putting everything back on was a harder because the blouse had a lot of finicky buttons, so I did not think it was worth it especially since I had just bought a new dress at Dress Barn.

Hair Salon Redux

Thursday, I had an appointment for a haircut at the salon I visited on Tuesday. My hairdresser, Miss K, was off on Tuesday, so after she seated me at her station, she said, "I'm sorry I missed you on Tuesday. The girls said you were beautiful."

So I immediately retrieved my iPhone and showed her my photo that Miss C took on Tuesday.

She took my iPhone, examined the photo closely and remarked, "You look like a businesswoman."

"That's what I intended."

"You do look beautiful!"


Big Night at One Big Event


Saturday evening, I attended One Big Event at the Connecticut Convention Center in Hartford. The event is a fundraiser for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. It is a gala affair with guys in tuxedos and gals in cocktail dresses and vice versa. Mid-afternoon, I began my femulation and was ready to go about an hour before I had to go, so I took some photos like the one you see on the right. The dress I wore was absolutely fabulous and wearing it made me feel wonderful beyond compare. Throughout the evening, I received many compliments from friends and strangers alike. It is a dress I will have to wear again and again. Left home at 5:15 and parked my car at the Convention Center garage 15 minutes before the start of the event, so I was able to get a strategic parking spot close to the entrance of the Convention Center rather than in the heights of the fifth or sixth level of the garage. I say "strategic" because after a long night of partying in high heels, it is nice to walk the minimum distance back to where your chariot awaits you. I took the escalators to the top of the Convention Center and checked in to find that I was seated at table 4. Usually, I end up sitting at a table with double digits, but thanks to my friend Diana and her friend Joe, I was seated in the front row of tables. Nice! The cocktail hour ran from 6 to 7 PM. It gave everyone an opportunity to schmooze, check out the items up for bid in the silent auction while drinking your favorite beverage. I recognized a few people and exchanged pleasantries.


After viewing all the auction items, I want to sit a spell, so I saw a seat available at a table where two young women were already seated. I asked if I could join them, they said yes and we exchanged introductions. The first time I attended One Big Event, I assumed all the attendees were gay, lesbian, trans, etcetera except for the politicians and dignitaries. I since learned that a good portion of the crowd were civilians representing the various corporate sponsors of the event, as was one the women I was sitting with. She was from Travelers Insurance and the other woman was her guest. They were UCONN graduates as I am and we exchanged stories about our experience on the Stores campus. We parted ways when the dining room opened – I to table 4 and they to a table with double digits. Table 4 was populated by me, Diana, Joe and Joe's family. They were a friendly bunch and we got along swimmingly. Dinner was very good and in mass quantities – so much so that I did not finish a course, not even dessert. After dinner, the folks who head the Health Collective spoke followed by two politicians, Hartford Mayor Luke Bronin and Connectuct's U.S Senator Richard Blumenthal. They both were encouraging... that despite the current occupant of the White House, the good fight will continue and we will be triumphant again. Their words pleased the crowd of 400 to no end. At past One Big Events, the politicians speak, then get out of Dodge to attend to other matters, so I was surprised when Diana nudged me to look up and see the Senator visiting tables to shake hands and schmooze. When he came to our table, I got his attention and he came over to shake my hand. I was not going to let him getaway with just a handshake, so I told him that I liked him so much that I would vote for him twice, once in girl mode and once in boy mode. He got a big charge out of that, laughed, shook my hand again and said thank-you. Very cool!
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